Goodbye 2014, Hello 2015

2015 is here.  It is. I can't believe it. Another year finished. Where has the time gone? 365 days. What did they stand for you? and yours?

My reality today is that I am looking back at my Pinterest board and I didn't accomplish half of the crap that I said I was going to- and for a list maker that sucks. And I have been mad at myself and fighting my demons because of it. I am playing the blame game and it is everyone else's fault except mine. I am still fat. I have more wrinkles then last year. My  house is disorganized, the boxes of clothes still sit in the garage, my kitchen is a mess, my pantry is in disarray which sends my hubbie into a tailspin weekly, my girls rooms are still painted from when they were babies.  Isn't that scandalous???? HA! I am laughing at myself now!! The truth is I really should be mad at 

No One.

You see for me 2014, was one of my bravish of  years...I finally did something that I have wanted to do for years. I put my thoughts on paper and I freed myself. I told my story and I am feeling lighter everyday.

Some people may not have liked what I wrote but that is too bad for them because I wrote it for me. Don't get wrong...I like to please. I like to be liked...but it is getting easier to realize that I am not nutella and not everyone is going to like me!! SHUT THE FRONT DOOR! Can I get an AMEN???  I should end the essay there..that is huge peeps. Did you hear what I figured out in 2014????  It is okay not to be everything to everybody - but I at least know I am something to someone.

Writing has been my therapy. I write when I am sad, happy, angry, scared confused, questioning - it gives me peace. Sometimes I do feel the pressure that it isn't good enough or that what I have to say is irrelevant. But then I am reminded by one of my village people that is the shame talking. Keep writing. So instead of making my list of the things I want to accomplish in 2015 I am making my list about all the things that I did in 2014 that made this my bravish year. 

I graduated with my teaching degree
I started a new position that I LOVE.
I started to blog
I visited Chicago
spent quality time with my loved ones near and far
made another year commitment to my church
shared in the joy of a loved ones new baby boy
mastered a fast change during Nutcracker that would make any dance mom proud.
sent my oldest daughter to camp : those that know me know how anxious I was but it turned out to be such an amazing spiritual journey for her
went to a marriage seminar

I danced in the kitchen.
I taught my girls how to fry chicken.
After twenty three years I finally was able to part with some of my mom's things
celebrated birthdays with friends
I spent time at the beach
I read.  A lot. 

I sang loud!
I went camping ...and stayed in a tent. Enough said.
I stood up for myself when I was supposed to and stayed quiet when words weren't necessary
I learned how to be still
I visited my childhood home
I made a new friend
I opened my online boutique chloe + isabel
I didn't give up on me and my hubbie- everyday we fight the fight and show up for each other. No one tells you that marriage is one of the hardest things you will "do" because love is about doing. 

I think the thing I am most proud of is that the realization that my life is my life - all the messed up moments and crazy daily things is what makes it whole. I am imperfect. It is still a pretty sweet life. I will continue to let love invade my heart and set daily reminders that love DOES. I will not sit idle. Sometimes I may not get what I want...but I believe in a big GOD and He will give me what I need.

That is a LONG list... I like it totes better than my short list of things I may or may not actually get done in 2015. But I have 364 days left. That is 364 chances to make each day better than the day before. Who is with me? Let's do this and be awesome and love until our hearts burst and our wings can't take us any higher.

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