Oh calm down, there are things that I have done in the midst of crisis, or jubliation or a case of the vodkas that I am not proud of - what I am trying to figure out is how I respond or better yet have the courage to not respond to people's behavior.
What I want to do is this - clench my fists and scream, WHAT THE WHAT?
I want to lash out at them.. but that isn't the right thing to do. Even though it would make me feel better. For a minute. I could text them and probably say everything that I would never say to their face... Yeah, that is it! I am tough! (not really, BULLY BEHAVIOR)
The truth is this...expectation is killing people's joy. For instance. if you expect something grand and then don't receive it - is it really the people's fault around you?
NO!
Because you didn't tell them what you expected... and they just went about their business. You may be hurt or disappointed but that unfulfilled expectation was put there by you.
Total JOY KILLER.
When I worked in retail management we had an "Expectation List". It was something we shared with new hires to help them ease into their jobs and what was expected of them. It was clear and concise and consistent. It helped to bridge the gap for the new employees. It gave direction if they had questions about what they were expected to do and hopefully they would exceed those expectations on their own accord. Makes sense, right??
So would it be easier if people came with expectation lists? Or maybe we handed them out like Oprah, You get my list and here's another and another.... Hmmmmm, I don't know. Maybe we just need to shift our focus. Maybe just zero in on our own achievement and work on exceeding those expectations with excellence- NOT PERFECTION.
And then we can learn to NOT expect things from people. Keep those low and your own disappointment won't be followed by a giant size tantrum. I know it is hard. Especially if you are a recovering people pleaser.
When you pray do you expect GOD to answer those prayers? I did, early on in my relationship, now I just hope.
Hope is powerful. HOPE IS COURAGE WITH WINGS. It is when you want something to happen and when it does, you are actually really happy. JOY! This is something you weren't guaranteed so it is a true gift, a bonus. But when it doesn't happen, it's completely okay because you knew all along that it most likely would not happen.
Along with expectation comes that idea that you are entitled to something. AND when it doesn't you are let down. BIG TIME. And if it does happen you aren't genuinely happy or experiencing joy because you expected it. JOY KILLER. Life is way too short to be joy killin' and stuff!
So instead of being a bravish and kind grown up you go ahead and invite everyone to your JOY KILLER party. On the menu, a huge serving of guilt with a side of nasty. I so GET THAT. I know when I am hurt I want to hurt people too... But I am working on that. That is why I signed up for the KICK-ASS Courage project. People aren't going to KILL MY JOY.
We Should do that together...lets be better together. Sign up with me here for a seven day challenge to be Courageous! And then watch this!
So lets not expect anything from others...only raise your own expectations of yourself. Achievements, goals, milestones. They don't have to be big or lofty goals either... start out small like, I am not going to say a curse word today or I am going to drink more water! And then work up to the big stuff... LIKE, I am enough!
HOPE IS GOOD. COURAGE IS GOOD. LET'S DO SOME OF THAT INSTEAD.
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