It went like this: "Mom, me and my friends have been talking... (Oh God!) and I want to know if YOU are the tooth fairy, Easter Bunny and Santa??"
For the love of freaking fudgcicles!!!! No. Not on a Sunday at 9:30pm.
I was stunned. I stared at her. And in our house the unspoken rule is that when mommy is quiet, when she is crazy quiet, nothing good is going to be coming out of her mouth next. So with out saying a word my daughter knew. I asked her for a timeout and told her I would talk to her in a few minutes.
I still remember when I "found out"- it was by accident - my Mom asked me to get something for her in the car...she had forgotten my Christmas stash was in the trunk...I didn't handle it as well as my Reese would. I was screaming and crying and carrying on...and my mom I'm sure had the same look on her face that I did 32 years later. My gut ached and the air was hard to breathe... She was mad. It was her fault. And I let her know it. It wasn't until high school that we talked about it again.
Things just change when you know "that". I had a responsibility and duty to keep my mouth quiet as to not "crush" my brother's happy. So that is what I did... and I just enjoyed being in on a "grown up" secret.
This may not be a big deal to some and hey...that's okay. It is to me. What happened next in my bedroom while she was waiting 15 feet away was a roller coaster of emotions:
I was angry- Why can't you and your friends talk about something else at lunch?? Seriously?
I was sad- I missed my mom so much in this moment I thought my heart was breaking all over again.
I was selfish- It won't be the same old magic now that she knows.
I was excited- She could help me with the holiday magic...my own personal elf!
I was disappointed- I wanted this milestone to happen on my terms.
I was proud- You know what? She was brave enough to ask me! I can do this. Here goes nothing.
I grabbed the letter I had written back in spring. When she questioned the tooth fairy receipt stash when she was looking for something in my desk (which I must say is off limits!) I knew it was getting close then, I read it to her my voice cracked and she reached for my hand ... I could see the disappointment in her sweet brown eyes. I explained the best way that I knew how. Faith, magic, bravery, hope, joy, maturity, happiness, a good secret to keep, were the highlights. She nodded and seemed to handle "it" better than I did. She hugged me and went to her room.
Later that night I went into her room... I needed to sit with her while she was sleeping... I caught her diary out of the corner of my eye. I did not look. I wanted to - but this is her story to tell. I kissed her on the forehead like I have done so many nights before. But that night was a little different. She was now in the magic making business with me...and I am not gonna lie I am excited about gaining this partner. So along with the realization that she is getting older and time is marching on, comes the joy in making others happy by sharing and sprinkling joy with my new comrade.
With the holidays starting to make their bold descent upon us...I am ready...we are ready. There is a new sheriff in town and we are planning on making a whole lot of holiday magic. Reach for the sky!!! We will Woody...we will!!!
I still remember when I "found out"- it was by accident - my Mom asked me to get something for her in the car...she had forgotten my Christmas stash was in the trunk...I didn't handle it as well as my Reese would. I was screaming and crying and carrying on...and my mom I'm sure had the same look on her face that I did 32 years later. My gut ached and the air was hard to breathe... She was mad. It was her fault. And I let her know it. It wasn't until high school that we talked about it again.
Things just change when you know "that". I had a responsibility and duty to keep my mouth quiet as to not "crush" my brother's happy. So that is what I did... and I just enjoyed being in on a "grown up" secret.
This may not be a big deal to some and hey...that's okay. It is to me. What happened next in my bedroom while she was waiting 15 feet away was a roller coaster of emotions:
I was angry- Why can't you and your friends talk about something else at lunch?? Seriously?
I was sad- I missed my mom so much in this moment I thought my heart was breaking all over again.
I was selfish- It won't be the same old magic now that she knows.
I was excited- She could help me with the holiday magic...my own personal elf!
I was disappointed- I wanted this milestone to happen on my terms.
I was proud- You know what? She was brave enough to ask me! I can do this. Here goes nothing.
I grabbed the letter I had written back in spring. When she questioned the tooth fairy receipt stash when she was looking for something in my desk (which I must say is off limits!) I knew it was getting close then, I read it to her my voice cracked and she reached for my hand ... I could see the disappointment in her sweet brown eyes. I explained the best way that I knew how. Faith, magic, bravery, hope, joy, maturity, happiness, a good secret to keep, were the highlights. She nodded and seemed to handle "it" better than I did. She hugged me and went to her room.
Later that night I went into her room... I needed to sit with her while she was sleeping... I caught her diary out of the corner of my eye. I did not look. I wanted to - but this is her story to tell. I kissed her on the forehead like I have done so many nights before. But that night was a little different. She was now in the magic making business with me...and I am not gonna lie I am excited about gaining this partner. So along with the realization that she is getting older and time is marching on, comes the joy in making others happy by sharing and sprinkling joy with my new comrade.
With the holidays starting to make their bold descent upon us...I am ready...we are ready. There is a new sheriff in town and we are planning on making a whole lot of holiday magic. Reach for the sky!!! We will Woody...we will!!!
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